


The Sting of Cold Winter Rain

by AwakeAndAliveSpartan



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Divergent from way before s1, F/M, Frost Giant! AU, I'm sure you can figure other things out, more tags to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-05-04 17:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14597571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwakeAndAliveSpartan/pseuds/AwakeAndAliveSpartan
Summary: Grant Ward always knew that he wasn't quite human, especially when he was picked up by SHIELD at the mere age of fifteen.He didn't think things could get any worse, well not until he found out that he's possibly an heir to the throne of Jotunheim.





	1. Somehow, I Need it to Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It begins....

(1998)

“So what’s the sitrep on him? Seems like an interesting case.”

“I didn’t think that this kid was  _ this  _ important for you of all people to show up, Fury. Didn’t think that he would catch your eye.”

Nick Fury smiled slightly, “Coulson, you know that it’s rare to find a supposed gifted.” he answered. “I like to see just what we’re dealing with here. Especially when it’s just a kid. How old is he again?”

Coulson sighed and flipped open the folder that he held, “He’s fifteen. Birthday is January 7, 1983.” he responded. “Want me to give you the full write-up on him?”

“Sure.”

“Kid’s name is Grant Douglas Ward. Birthplace is Plymouth, Massachusetts.” Coulson began slowly, eyes skimming down the page. “Middle son of Senator Richard Ward. The story is that he was sent to a military school in Tennessee, but stole a truck and went AWOL a few months later. He drove hundreds of miles home, only to burn down his home with his older brother inside. Sent to juvie, which is where I picked him up from.”

“Reasons to why he committed arson like that?”

Coulson shrugged, “He said something about hating his family. That they were abusive. We’re still investigating those reports because there’s nothing official anywhere about that. But med agents found plenty of indications of old injuries on him that go hand-in-hand with child abuse. Another agent is working on that.” he explained. “They…. They must be one hell of a family to make him snap like that.”

“Or he’s crazy. I still want a full psych work-up on him.” Fury stated. “But how did he end up on our radar?”

“We caught wind of a kid who had practical superhuman strength and agility. Also, apparently, and I quote, ‘weird things’ happen around him.” Coulson answered. “Now, don’t ask me what that means, because I have no damn idea. Things that are there are suddenly something else or things just appear entirely. I’m not sure.”

Fury frowned, “What else? Was anything else able to be dug up about him?” he asked, looking at the kid behind the holding cell glass. They weren’t taking any chances with him since no one could figure out what he was.

Coulson shrugged again, “Just that old classmates call him weird and that he never acted quite right. He has a penchant for getting in trouble. Nothing more than petty crimes. His parent always paid the police off so he didn’t end up in jail for something stupid.”

“Yet he got arrested for first degree arson and attempted murder.”

“Well, that’s an entirely other level. I say he was just upset. I don’t think he’s bad, he’s just never had someone who actually really liked him enough to show him another way.”

Fury snorted, “You were always a sap for these kind of things.” He paused and stared at the kid, “You know what? I’m putting you in charge of him, Coulson. He’s too young to go into the Academy and he needs to complete other schooling first.”

Coulson’s face fell, “In charge? He’s a minor. That… That makes me his caretaker. Fury, no offense, but I didn’t sign up for SHIELD to be a kid’s caretaker.”

“Yeah, but he’s technically in SHIELD custody now, Phil. Someone has to watch out over him. And I think you’re the best fit. You said he needed someone to show him another way. I think that you can do it.”

“Well….” Coulson trailed off and turned to look at the kid, studying his massive frame. God, just how tall was this kid? “Is this like an assignment or something?”

“Pretty much. And if things do go right and he makes it through the Academy, maybe you can be his SO, too. I’m giving this case a special exception.”

“You sure this will work?”

“Honestly? No.”   
  


  
  


(Fifteen Years Later. 2013)

Grant let out a sharp breath as he stormed out of the lab, leaving everyone else behind. Why couldn’t they just all shut up? They had much worse matters to attend to other than worrying over him. Yes, maybe the staff had done something to him. Maybe the staff had caused him to relive his worst memory. But that was none of their business. At least it wasn’t in his opinion.

He slunk into the storage area from the cargo hold so he could be alone for a while. He knew that Coulson would want him to help interrogate the professor soon enough, so he wanted to try and catch his breath before that could happen. 

_“Why can’t they just keep to themselves?”_ he thought, sliding down to the floor and pressing his palms against his eyes. _“They should just get off of my ass.”_

Grant took another sharp, ragged breath to try and steady his anger before he exploded again. He was never the best at controlling his emotions, but today definitely did not help things.  _ “Fine. I should just go ahead and talk to him.”  _ he thought.  _ “Maybe… Maybe Coulson can help. He’s been with me for the past fifteen years….” _

He went to pull himself up, but he froze once he got to his feet, his eyes trailing to his hand. It was a deep, dark blue. A mark shaped like a u was right underneath his knuckles.“W-What the hell?” he whispered, slowly bringing his hand towards his face. He could see that vapor was slowly rising from the skin, like he had opened a freezer. 

The blue quickly faded away and his hand returned to normal. Had the Berserker staff done this to him? Grant quickly scampered off to find Coulson, knowing that he wouldn’t mention this incident to him at all. Because, truly, how could he even begin to explain it? He couldn’t just go straight in and say that his hand had suddenly turned a navy blue. SHIELD had already been up his ass for the past fifteen years because he was supposedly not human. Or was it related to that?

Truly, he didn’t want to know. 

Grant’s talk with Coulson about the staff and the interrogation with Randolph went fairly smoothly. But not until Grant had a minute alone with the professor when giving him back his possessions.

“The staff. What did it do to me?” Grant practically whispered. “What did it do?”

“I thought that we already discussed this, Mr. Ward. Give or take a few decades, the rage should fade away.” Randolph answered, raising an eyebrow. “It’s usually much worse on humans….” He trailed off and his face fell as he realized something, “Wait, you’re not human, are you?” he asked quietly. “I’ve sensed this, uh,  _ feeling  _ before, but I can’t quite place it. That’s why Coulson’s so damn protective of you, isn’t it? Mr. Ward, just what are you?”

Grant grimaced and slammed the case shut, causing the professor to flinch, “I don’t know.” he growled, turning around. “And it’s none of your damn business anyways.” He stalked away, leaving Randolph to himself.

Randolph’s face fell as he finally figured out what the feeling was,  _ “No… There’s no way.”  _ he thought, watching Grant fling a car door open and stalk inside.  _ “They don’t mingle with the other realms, especially Midgard.  _

_ But that boy’s got Jötun blood in him….” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that it's short and kind of weird, but things should start to make sense soon. And you can probably already figure out at least a few things from it.... I hope that you enjoy! Please leave a comment or a kudos!


	2. Can't Erase the Agony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Skye gets shot, Grant finds out some more about himself.

(A Couple of Weeks Later)

Grant quickly fled from the room and everyone else, the image of Skye’s broken and bleeding body still burned into his terrified mind. He tried to fight back the growing rage, knowing that this wasn’t the time nor the place to lose control of himself. But why was he running? Why was he running when the woman he loved laid dying in a hospital room not too far away?

But, truly, he was surprised that he had lasted this long without losing it. He had managed to hold himself together to help to get Skye into that chamber. But as soon as that doctor had told them that there was nothing else that they could do for her, he just snapped. He couldn’t hold it all in anymore.

Grant tried his best to find a secluded area of the hospital to where no one could find him and where no one could get hurt. He didn’t want to hurt anyone just because he was upset and couldn’t hold back his strength.

He ended up finding a taped off area that looked as though renovations were being done on it. Oh well. At least he couldn’t possibly cause that much more damage to it. He just needed to punch a few things that weren’t punching bags. As soon as he was sure that no one was around, he let out a growl and swung his fist into the nearest wall, his fist going straight into the concrete by a few inches.

_“Why is this happening to her? This is all my fault because I wasn’t there like I’m supposed to be. Fitz wasn’t supposed to be there. It needed to be me. Skye wasn’t cleared to be in the field. This is all my fucking fault…”_

Grant swung his fist into the wall again, deepening the hole even more. He took a sharp breath and leaned against the wall with his right hand to try and steady himself,  _“Not now, Grant.”_ he thought to himself, tightly closing his eyes.  _“Now’s not the time to destroy a fucking hospital. Skye’s not too far away…”_

He took another sharp breath and opened his eyes,  _“I can’t do this. I should get back before….”_ He trailed off, his eyes being drawn to his hand and the immediate area around it. His hand was blue. Just like after the staff a couple of weeks ago. But this time his contact with the wall seemed to be  _freezing_ the concrete. He quickly withdrew his hand from the wall, the patch of ice still clinging to the wall.

Grant just stared at his still-blue hand, his eyes trailing the strange markings on it. Pulling up his sleeve, he found that the blue went up to the middle of his forearm.  _“I… I don’t understand. What is this?”_ he asked himself.  _“This doesn’t make any sense at all.”_ He clenched his fist and a sheet of ice quickly formed around it,  _“What… What am I_?”

Now, Grant had known since SHIELD had picked him up fifteen years ago that he wasn’t fully human. They had deduced through a lot of investigation that his father really wasn’t his father; that his true father was someone far from human. But no one could ever figure out what he was.

There were several attributes that made him nonhuman. Superhuman strength and agility, regenerative healing, he could go on. But this? This was completely new to him and he had no idea to why it had taken so long to show up now. Unless it had something to do with him being so upset.

But then why hadn’t it shown itself when Coulson had been killed by Loki last year? Grant had been completely distraught and angry when his practical father had died. But why hadn’t this happened then?

Honestly, Grant really didn’t want to think about that right now.

He continued to stare at his hand, tears starting to sting at the corners of his eyes. First, Skye had been shot and was currently dying. Now, he was starting to turn into a bigger freak than he already believed himself to be. Grant just didn’t understand to what he was.

Just what kind of monster had his true father been?

_“What’s going on? I don’t get it. I,”_

“Grant, son, what are you doing?”

Grant looked up and quickly hid his hand behind his back, seeing Coulson standing a few feet away from him, “I… I wanted to get away. I don’t want to be around anyone else right now.”

Coulson took a deep breath, seeing the tears shining in Grant’s eyes and the massive hole in the concrete. Grant was glad that it seemed that he didn’t notice the ice on the wall. “Grant, you don’t need to be punching things like this. Especially when you’re this upset. You’ll bring down the entire hospital at this rate son.” he stated softly, not wanting to further upset him. “You need to take a break. Get some rest. You haven’t slept since we retrieved Skye. And that was yesterday.”

Grant vehemently shook his head, “No. I’m her SO, I need to be ready in case something happens.” he protested. “I can’t… I can’t fail her again.”

Coulson’s face fell and he immediately took a few steps towards Grant, “Grant, do you blame yourself for what happened?” he asked quietly. “You know that it’s not your fault, do you?”

“I-I should’ve been there.” Grant stammered, trying his best to keep his hand hidden so Coulson couldn’t see it. “I’m her SO, it’s my job to,”

“Grant, you didn’t know.” Coulson cut in. “It’s not your fault. Skye would say the very same thing, you know. Something like this is  _never_ your fault. You even blamed yourself for Loki stabbing me. That was Loki’s fault. This is Quinn’s fault. You shouldn’t blame yourself for something you have no control over.”

Grant looked down to his feet, “But,”

“Grant, there are no buts about this. I don’t want to be worrying about you, too. You know how you get when you start blaming yourself. The last thing we need right now is for you to lose it.” Coulson sighed. “You just need to take a breather and rest for a while. We’ll… We’ll figure something out, Grant. There has to be a way out there somewhere. I promise. We may not see it right now, but it has to be there somewhere.” He took another step forward and placed a gentle hand on Grant’s shoulder, “I want you to head back to the Bus and to get some sleep. We’ll watch over things, okay? You need to clear your head for a bit in a way that doesn’t involve violence.”

Coulson began to turn around, “I’m going to go back and find May. Head back to the Bus and hole up in your bunk for a while. That’s an order.”

Grant shied away as Coulson walked away. As soon as the man was gone, Grant looked back to his hand, but found that it had returned back to normal. His eyes trailed back to the ice patch on the wall, worry settling deep within his gut, knowing that something was very much wrong with him. Something that definitely didn’t need to happen right now. Not with Skye’s life on the line.

_“What… What am I?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I hope that this adds a little more info to things. And this is my second time uploading this chapter because Ao3 refuses to show that it's been updated in the tags and no one is seeing it. Lets hope that it works this time around. And I promise some Skyeward interaction in the next chapter. And sorry for this popping up so much. I keep fixing errors I find... Keep the comments and kudos coming!


	3. If You Find Your Family, Don't You Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grant finds out the truth to who he is.

(Sometime Later)

“Look, I don’t know to what the hell you’re talking about, but get on your knees. Now. I don’t have time for bullshit like this.”

Lorelai blinked, giving Grant a sly smile and ever so carefully approaching him, “You know, I just  _ adore  _ strong men like you.” she practically cooed, something in her voice starting to weigh Grant down. “I could use someone like you to my advantage. Much better than any of the buffoons that are here.”

Grant frowned, “Like I said, I don’t have time for this.” he deadpanned, pointing his gun towards her. After the staff, he hated anything Asgardian related. So he hated the fact that he was dealing with an actual Asgardian again. 

“Wouldn’t you like to see real power? I could give that to you.” she continued. She reached out towards him and placed a hand on his arm faster than he could react. “You…” She trailed off and quickly jerked her hand away as though his arm had burned her. She began to slowly back away from him, fear starting to grow in her eyes. 

“W-What are you?” she stammered. “I’ve never felt such a raw energy from one person before. You’re far from human.”

Grant’s frown grew even more, “I’ve already heard this spiel before, it’s nothing new.” he stated coldly. “I know that I’m not human. I’ve known that for over a decade.” But Grant did wonder to why such a powerful Asgardian was so afraid of him. Sif had told him that Lorelai was practically a terror. So why had one touch sent her reeling?

Lorelai swallowed, “No, I’ve felt this energy before….” She stared at him, unable to comprehend his being. “But a long, long time ago. They don’t mingle with Midgard at all. So, I don’t understand to why you exist. But that cold, seething power burns deep within your skin. You are an abomination.”

“Again, I’ve heard this before.” But Grant stopped and frowned, “Wait, who’s ‘they’?” he asked. This was the closest he had ever been to knowing just what he was.”

Fear shone bright in Lorelai’s eyes as it was clear that she was trying to find a way to escape from him, “The Jötuns.” she stated. “The Frost Giants of Jötunheim. Their blood runs strongly through your veins, mixing with that of a human’s. You are a complete abomination that shouldn’t exist at all. No… Something is very wrong here. Just who are you?” Her face fell as realization crept in, “You’re  _ his  _ son. I had no idea that he had come to Midgard like this before that invasion of his.”

Grant’s stomach fell, “Wait, who the hell are you talking about? You know my father? Who is…” He trailed off as Lorelai suddenly disappeared into thin air, leaving him all alone. He swallowed, unsure of what was going on now, “What… Who is he?” 

 

* * *

  
  


(Later)

Skye frowned as Grant sat slumped in the chair at the foot of her bed, “Ward, what’s going on with you?” she asked. “You’ve been this way ever since you got back from trying to capture that Asgardian. I hope that you’re not blaming yourself for her getting away. Sif says that you’re lucky that she didn’t take control of you.”

Grant looked up and numbly shook his head, “No, it’s…. It’s not that. I’ve just been thinking about something she said, that’s all.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Then what the hell did she say? Because whatever it was, it’s really got you in a funky mood, Ward.” she stated. “I don’t like seeing you like this.”

He looked towards the floor so she couldn’t see him blush, “It’s… It’s personal, Skye.” he answered softly. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“W-Grant, remember what I said about my shoulder being free?” she reminded him. “I think that now’s a good time for you to take up on that.”

Grant looked back up, unsure of what to say. Well, what could he say to her? He knew that he couldn’t flatout tell her that he was apparently some kind of giant. He didn’t know what to say. But the look on Skye’s face told him that he needed to start somewhere. He looked around, making sure that they were alone before he said anything. He didn’t want anyone else overhearing them. 

“I…. I’ve been hiding something from all of you, Skye. Only Coulson, May, and a few others in SHIELD know of this. I like to keep it repressed, but the past few weeks have pulled it back up again.” he began, causing her to frown. “But I guess now is a good time to tell you. You need to know, especially since you’re my rookie.”

“Grant, what the hell are you talking about?” 

“I’m… I’m not human, Skye. I’m half something else.” he answered. “I’ve kept that hidden for the past fifteen years. It’s a long story that I really don’t want to get into right now. But, basically, SHIELD found me when I was fifteen. I was in juvie serving time for some, uh, charges I don’t care to explain right now.”

Skye blinked, “You’re not human?” she asked. Well, that explained a lot things about him. But it was still strange to hear. 

He shook his head, “I really don’t know what I am. SHIELD could never figure it out. All they know is that my true father is not human. But, I don’t know to who he is.” he began to explain. “SHIELD barely knows anything about me. All they know is that I’m much stronger and faster than the average human and I heal very fast. But I know that there are some things that they’ve never told me.”

Skye nodded slowly, trying to take everything in, “That’s all you can do?”

Grant looked around again, “No, I… I can do more. I found that out just recently.” He swallowed and held his hand out, hoping that no one else would walk in. He clenched his fist, allowing ice to accumulate around it, his skin turning blue as the ice formed.

Skye’s eyes widened, “Does anyone else know about this?” she asked, surprise and a hint of fear in her voice. Just how could he do this?

Grant shook his head, “No. Just you. My skin turned blue for a while after the Berserker Staff. I found out about the ice after you got shot. That’s, uh, another long story I don’t care to explain. I’ve been working with it some since then.”

“So, my SO is some freaky blue alien that can suddenly control ice.” She swallowed, “That’s, uh, nice.”

“Everything really does roll off your back.” Grant commented, allowing his hand to return back to normal. “This doesn’t bother you at all?”

Skye shrugged, “I guess that we all can’t be the same, right? Does this scare you?”

“Yeah, a lot. I don’t know what’s going on. And then there’s what Lorelai said to me earlier. She tried touching me to take control, but she suddenly jerked her hand away from me and was very scared. Of me. She said I was something called a Jötun. A Frost Giant from somewhere called Jötunheim.”

Skye raised an eyebrow once again, “A giant? Well, that explains your height.” she commented. “But what the hell is a Frost Giant?”

“Hell if I know. She disappeared before I could ask her anything else. The last thing she said was that I was ‘his son’. But she didn’t say to who that was. And, honestly, I’m afraid to know, Skye.”

“Look, you,”

“Where is he?!”

Skye’s stomach flopped as someone screamed from outside of the medbay, completely cutting her off. She looked towards Grant, who suddenly looked very afraid.

“Son of Coul, I demand you tell me to where he is! I do not normally trust someone like Lorelai, but she would not make a lie out of something like this! Where is the Jötun?!”

“Sif, I don’t even know what you are talking about! What the hell is a Jötun?!” they heard Coulson yell. “You can’t just go after one of my agents like this!”

“If what Lorelai says is true, then we have a severe problem on our hands. Frost Giants do not mingle with humans at all. And I have a bad suspicion to what is going on here. Especially if she is right.”

“Sif…”

Grant stood to his feet as Sif suddenly burst into the room, Coulson behind her, “Uh, what’s going on?” he asked, trying his best to feign confusion. “Did you catch Lorelai?”

“Yes, she’s in the cage.” Coulson answered. “Sif was just about to take off.”

“No, I am not until I deal with this problem.” Sif turned to face Grant, “Why didn’t you tell me that SHIELD harbored a Jötun? And a half-Jötun at that.” She narrowed her eyes, “You have no idea to what you are, do you?”

Grant swallowed, “I swear I just found out from Lorelai earlier. But I have no fucking clue to what the hell you are talking about.” he replied, raising his hands. “So how about you explain things before you try to kill me or whatever.”

Sif frowned, “You do not make any sense, monster. I have never heard of a half-Jötun. But if what Lorelai says is true, then it makes sense. It is likely that he’s been to Midgard before the Chitauri invasion. You do look like him. But I had no idea that he fathered a child with a human woman, but he probably does not know as well. Perhaps that it a good thing.”

Grant’s stomach started to freeze over and he quickly looked over to Skye before looking back to the Asgardian, “Then you know my real father.” he stated, his voice small. “Who… Who is he? What the hell am I?”

“Like I said before, I do not know how this is possible.” Sif only stared at him, a light in her eyes that Grant could not identify. “But it is the only way to how a half-Jötun exists on Midgard. Especially one of your size.”

“Then who am I? Get to the fucking point.”

Her eyes darkened and she suddenly seemed extremely threatening to Grant, “I do not know how, but you are Grant Ward, son of Loki Laufeyson.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I am definitely taking some liberties with this. I don't know if anyone outside of Thor, Odin, and Frigga knew that Loki was really a Jötun, but lets just go with that for this fic. It's AU, remember? But it works. Keep the comments and kudos coming!


	4. What's It All For?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grant finds out the truth.

Grant’s knees about buckled out from underneath him. He stared at Sif, barely able to process what she had just said. “Uh… What?”

Sif’s expression remained unchanged, “I believe that you heard what I said.” she stated cooly. “You are the son of Loki, I believe. He is the only one of the Jötuns that has been to Midgard in centuries. Like I said before, they do not mingle with those of Midgard. But since you exist, it is possible that he has been to Migard before. He did like to cause a fair bit of trouble in the other realms. But fathering a half-human child does not seem like him.”

“Wait,” Skye spoke up, casting a nervous glance towards Grant, seeing that he looked as though he was on the verge of a panic attack. “I thought that Loki was Thor’s brother. How is he one of these giants you’re talking about?”

“We have recently learned that Odin found Loki as an infant on Jötunheim and adopted him around the time Thor was born. So they grew up as brothers, even though Thor was the rightful prince of Asgard.” Sif began to explain, eying Grant warily. “Loki’s father was the king of Jötunheim, Laufey. So in turn, that makes you Laufey’s grandchild. And therefore the rightful king of Jötunheim, if they follow the bloodline carefully. But the current reigning king may not take so gracefully to a half-human, even though you are Laufey’s direct grandchild.”

Grant was about as white as snow, still unable to process things. He looked over to Coulson, whom of which was staring at him with an unknown expression. Oh yeah, that’s right. Loki was the one that stabbed him. Meaning, his father was the one that stabbed him. Grant hated to know what Coulson thought of him now. 

“S-So you’re just going to storm in here and tell me that I’m the fucking son of the god of mischief?” Grant stammered, not sure of what to say. His chest was starting to tighten and he knew that he would soon start to panic if he didn’t get out of here soon. 

“We are technically not gods.”

“Yeah, but humankind thinks so.” Grant swallowed and ran his his hands through his hair, “Oh God, I’m a freaking demigod.” He was starting to breath heavily, “And my father is the fucking guy that tried to take over the world!”

Sif blinked, “Was. Not is.”

“Huh?”

“Loki is dead. He died in the fight with Malekith.”

Grant had to sit down at this point. He buried his face in his hands. His body started to shake as he knew that he couldn’t hold himself together much longer. It was only a matter of time before he broke in half.

“Sif,” Coulson began, taking a sharp breath. “I think that it’s best that you take Lorelai and leave. We’ll deal with Grant from here.”

Sif shook her head and turned to face Coulson, “I cannot simply let you deal with him alone, Son of Coul.” she answered. “The Lokison must be dealt with promptly.”

“I have a name, you know!” Grant snapped, keeping his eyes to the floor. “And it’s definitely not ‘Lokison’!” He gripped the armrests of the chair, hints of ice starting to develop on the surface of the metal. “H-He may be my father, but I am not him!”

Coulson swallowed, “He’s right, Sif. Grant is not his father. I can attest for that. I took Grant in when he was fifteen and raised him ever since. He doesn’t have an evil bone in his body.” he stated. “Well, he gets in trouble from time to time, but it’s only for petty things. We can deal with him.”

“You may think so, but Odin will not. Once he finds out about him, he will send the best Aesir warriors to bring him in.” Sif protested. “You will not be able to protect him then.”

“Grant needs at least some time to process this!” Skye exclaimed, gesturing towards him. “Look, he’s about on the verge of a panic attack! Suddenly coming in here and shouting at him like this isn’t going to do a damn thing for him! You may think that he’s some kind of monster, but he’s far from that. He just needs some time is all.”

Sif took a sharp breath and eventually nodded, “Fine. I will allot some time for him to process things. He has until Odin figures out, and that will not be long.” she replied. “But I fear that he will be wanted in Asgard sooner or later once things do come to light. I do not think that it would be a matter of him being half-Jötun, but rather a matter of him being Loki’s child and possibly the rightful king of Jötunheim. Odin will see him as a threat that must be dealt with.” She sharply turned on her feet, “I fear that you may not have long, Lokison.”

Grant’s stomach fell as Sif left the medpod, “Oh, God.” he muttered again. “What the hell is going on?”

“Grant,” Coulson began, coming over to Grant before he had to go see Sif off. He crouched down next to him, “Even if what Sif says is the truth, that doesn’t mean a single damn thing about you, son.”

“You’re not afraid of me?”

Coulson blinked and frowned, “No. Why would I be?” he asked softly. “I have no reason to.”

“Well, you just found out that I’m the son of the god that stabbed you right through the heart.” Grant replied, his voice barely there. “That has to mean something.”

“No, it doesn’t.” Coulson lightly placed his hand on top of Grant’s. “Like I said, you aren’t Loki. You’re not responsible for what happened. There is no reason to be afraid of you. Like Skye said, you just need time to process things. It’s been a rough couple of weeks for you. You just need time. And a way to help figure out those powers of yours.”

Grant didn’t respond. He only looked away from both Coulson and Skye. 

“Grant, we’ll figure out how to deal with this.” Skye spoke up, sitting on the edge of her bed so she could get closer to him. “You may not see it, but there has to be a way somehow.”

Coulson blinked, studying Skye for a moment. Technically, both her and Grant could be considered 084s. Skye was part- _ something _ and Grant was pretty much a demigod. That could really put a dent in things. At least they had an idea of what Grant was.

“But, hey, at least you can say that you’re a demigod. I think that’s something to brag about.” Skye gave him a light smile, but Grant didn’t find the humor in what she was trying to say.

“Skye, this isn’t a fucking joke.” Grant mumbled, burying his face in his hands again. “I go half of my life not knowing who my real father is and he turns out to be the guy who invaded New York with a bunch of aliens and is responsible for the deaths of who knows how many people. None of this is a joke and it shouldn’t be.”

“Look, you can’t blame me for trying to find some kind of light in this.” Skye protested. “I know that this is bad.”

“There’s no light in this anywhere….”

Coulson sighed, “Grant, go get some rest or something. I’ll go see Sif off. But we are going to have to tell the others later. They did hear Sif yelling about you being a Jötun earlier.” he stated. “I can tell them if you want me to. You don’t have to say anything.”

Grant numbly shrugged and Coulson took that as his answer. Without another word, Coulson left the room to go finish dealing with Sif and Lorelei, leaving Grant and Skye alone.

“Grant,” Skye began, looking towards him with a caring light in her eyes. “We’ll get through this. You may not see a way now, but there has to be. Or we can find at least  _ something  _ good in all of this.”

He looked up to meet her gaze, his eyes practically blank, “How is any of this good, Skye?” he asked, his voice a mere croak. “I just found out that I’m some kind of ice-controlling monster whose father is the fucking god of mischief, so that could let me do way more than just controlling ice. Oh, and I’m apparently heir to the throne of another realm. This is a disaster!”

Skye grimaced with his scream, “Grant, we’ll all figure something out, I can promise you that.” she repeated, watching him start to shut down. Hell, he would probably stay in here until Coulson managed to drag him out. “There’s gotta be some way to get through this.

There has to be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so do remember that this is right after The Dark World, so everyone thinks that Loki is dead here. And I'll probably end up changing around some things making it more in line with Norse mythology instead of what the MCU did to make things really work here. Keep the comments and kudos coming!


	5. This is My War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grant starts to spiral.

(The Next Day)

Skye took a breath and slowly approached Grant’s closed bunk door, knowing that the man was still in there after the events of yesterday. She was glad that Simmons let her out of the pod to go check on him, knowing that he hadn’t left the confines of the bunk at all. 

But, could she really blame him?

Grant had learned things that had turned his entire world upside down. There was no way that he was able to process the magnitude of learning that his blood father was none other than Loki himself. Skye knew that it would take him a very long time for him to come to terms with the information, if he even did so at all.

_“Is…. Is this a good idea right now?”_ Skye asked herself, still looking at the closed door. _“I trust him, but he’s not in his right mind right now. He’s upset. He’s angry. But he needs someone to talk to and I know that he’s not going to talk to Coulson about this.”_

She took another breath and lightly rapped on the door, “Grant?” she called. “It’s Skye. I… I just want to talk. I don’t think you need to be alone right now.”

Several seconds passed before Grant quietly spoke up, “You can come in. I guess.” His voice was hollow and shallow, and Skye could tell that he had been crying. “Just… Just shut the door behind you. Please.”

Skye slowly slid the door open and slipped inside, closing the door behind her. She sat down on the edge of the bed as Grant scooted over to allow her to sit. 

“I thought you weren’t being let out of the medpod until tomorrow.”

She looked over to him, her breath hitching in her chest as she saw him. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair stuck up all over the place. To put it plainly, he looked absolutely horrible. Skye wouldn’t be surprised if he had had multiple panic attacks since yesterday. Coulson had said that he was very prone to those.

“Simmons said that I was good to go. But that I should only be going between the bunks and the kitchen for a while. She says that I still have a ways to go before I’m completely better.” Skye began. “And that I need to be slowly reintroduced into a training regimen again.” She raised an eyebrow at him. 

Grant shook his head, “You should get May to do it.” he stated, his voice dull. “I don’t think you want to train with me anymore.”

Skye’s face fell, “Why… Why would you think that, Grant?” she asked quietly, seeing that Grant was staying closed in on himself. “Why wouldn’t I want to train with you anymore.”

“I’m a monster. I don’t think that you want to train with someone like me.”

“You think you’re a monster all because your father happens to be Loki? I don’t think that’s enough to make you a monster. By that definition, I  _ should  _ be a monster because my parents were monsters. I’ve told you that story. But, I’m not.” Skye smiled slightly at him, “Being Loki’s son doesn’t make you a monster. Hell, I think you’re more like Coulson than anyone else.”

Grant blinked, “You know, being Loki’s son makes sense in a lot of ways. It… It explains why I acted the way I did when I was a child.” he began. “Even though it makes me sick to think about.”

“What do you mean?”

“I… I always got in trouble for stupid shit.” Grant answered, looking at the wall behind Skye. “Just really petty stuff. My parents, as bullshit as they were, always paid the cops off to keep me out of jail. Didn’t look good for the ‘family image’ or whatever. I always was good at lying. Stuff like that. Makes a hell of a lot of sense now. 

I’ve gotten better at straying away from that stuff, but it…. Hell, I don’t know.” he continued. “Like I said, it makes me sick to think about.”

“Grant, this knowledge or whatever doesn’t make you any different, I think.” Skye replied lightly, not really sure of what to say to him. “You’re still you. I don’t think being Loki’s son changes anything. Yes, it’s strange to think about.”

“Skye, I’m afraid to look Coulson in the eye.”

Skye’s stomach fell, “Huh? What do you mean?”

“Loki was the one that stabbed him. He’s the reason to why I spent  _ months _ thinking that Coulson was dead.” Grant stated, looking down at his hands. “I can’t look at him now without remembering that day. I… I was pulled out of New York and taken back to the Helicarrier. I was part of one of the ground teams. 

Fury was the one to tell me what happened. I broke down and almost took the Helicarrier out of the sky with my rampage.” he continued. “Even after Loki almost brought it down. Now… Now I can’t stand to think that it was my actual blood father that caused all that. Coulson may say that he doesn’t hate or fear me because of that, but I’m afraid of what he really thinks.”

“Grant….” But Skye couldn’t finish what she wasn’t going to say. She didn’t know how to. Honestly, his fears were legitimate. And she didn’t know to what was running through his head right now. So it was really hard to sympathize with him.

“What can you say, Skye?” Grant asked, burying his head in his hands. “I’m a monster through and through. I’m some kind of mutt. And how the hell did my mom end up fucking Loki of all people? I knew that she was a slut, but still?!” He slammed his fist into the mattress, causing the bed to shake violently. “It’s all her fault that I’m like this!”

Skye suddenly reached out and gently took Grant’s hand, “Grant, don’t be like this. You’re not a monster or a mutt. Yes, you… You may be different. But that doesn’t mean a single damn thing. You’re still Grant Ward. You would only be a monster if you acted like Loki, but you don’t. So, you’re not a monster at all. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Grant looked away and jerked his hand out of Skye’s, the faintest tinges of blue starting to appear on the tips of his fingers. “I’ll believe what I want to about myself, Skye.” he muttered. “If I think I’m a monster, then I’m a fucking monster. Nothing’s going to change that.”

_ “It’s going to be near impossible to get him to change his mind. How… How do I prove himself wrong? He’s traumatized and angry. I think his opinion of himself is pretty much set in cement at this point.”  _ Skye thought, watching as Grant brought his knees to his chest and started to tune her out. There was going to be no getting through to him for a while now.

“Leave me alone, Skye. Before I hurt you.” Grant muttered, not looking at her. “I… I don’t trust myself anymore. Please, go away.’

“Grant, you… You aren’t going to hurt me. I trust you.” Skye stated firmly, hoping that some part of him would believe her one way or another. But, honestly, she knew that he wouldn’t. He thought so lowly of himself right now. He didn’t trust himself at all. He was afraid that one wrong move and he would either crush her or freeze her to death.

“I don’t know what I’m capable anymore, Skye. My father is a practical  _ god,  _ what does that mean for me?

What the hell am I?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the wait on this! I just couldn't ever figure out what to write. Saying that, I'm open to ideas for this. I have a very basic idea of an outline, but still not totally sure of things. Keep the comments and kudos coming!


	6. How Can Things Change?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grant goes to Coulson for a talk.

(Two Days Later)

Coulson looked up as a knock sounded at his office door just in time to see it slowly creak open. “Grant?” he called, placing aside the paperwork he had been working on. “I can tell that’s you. There’s no need to be shy.”

As if on cue, Grant’s head appeared around the door, heavy bags still shining underneath his eyes, “Coulson? Can… Can I talk to you? Just me and you?” he asked, slinking inside the room and quickly shutting the door behind him. “No one else.”

Coulson nodded slowly and gave him a reassuring smile, “Sure, Grant.” he answered, gesturing with a hand towards one of the chairs in front of his desk. “I’m just surprised that you’re in here. You’ve been holed up in your bunk ever since the other day. You feeling okay?”

“It’s… It’s just a lot to process, you know.” Grant stated, slipping down into one of the chairs. Coulson noted of the way he seemed to be hunched over on himself, keeping his limbs drawn in towards him. “I don’t like it. I don’t like the way it makes me… Feel…” He trailed off and became silent.

“Is it the fact that Loki is your father or the fact that you’ve finally figured out what you are?” Coulson questioned, folding his hands together. He hoped to get Grant talking. That was one of the main things he needed to do right now. 

“Both?” Grant slightly shook his head. “I don’t know. But it’s just hard knowing that my real father is  _ him _ .” He didn’t even bother saying Loki’s name. “After everything that he’s done, what the hell does that mean for me?”

Coulson’s face fell, “That doesn’t mean a single damn thing for you, son. You aren’t your father. Hell, I’ve raised you for the past fifteen years and I know for a fact that you don’t have a single evil bone in your entire body. Yeah, you get in trouble from time to time. But that’s usually for some really petty crap, Grant. Loki desires power and wants to be known. That isn’t you.”

“Yeah, but,”

“But nothing.” Coulson gave him a stern look. “I’m a firm believer that people aren’t born evil. Just victims of unfortunate circumstances. That’s you.” He pointed at him, “Even though you weren’t raised in a loving home, we were able to get to you soon enough before you  _ could  _ become a bad person. There’s no telling to who you would’ve become if I didn’t take you in. Or if someone else had of found you.

But, where you are now is solid proof that you aren’t your father. Yes, you’re rough around the edges, but you have a good heart.” he continued. “You have a hell of a lot to work through right now. You have to start figuring out how to control those powers of yours before they somehow get out of hand. And you need to come with terms to who your father is. I know that it’s not going to be easy, but I believe that you can do it. And you have an entire team of people who are willing to help you through this.”

“Are you sure?” Grant asked. “Are they really willing to help me even with the threat of Odin coming after me?”

Coulson shook his head, “I’m not worried about Odin.” he stated firmly. “And neither are the others. You are our teammate, Grant. We’re  _ supposed  _ to help you, no matter the danger that comes with it. Everyone knows that you’re not bad. Hell, Fitz is close to being your best friend. And Skye…” He trailed off and shook his head with a chuckle, “Well, that’s a completely other story.”

Grant immediately straightened up, “Huh? What do you mean?” he asked, a slight bit of color rising to his freckled cheeks. “Why’s she a completely other story?”

Coulson’s smile grew, realizing that Grant was most likely oblivious to Skye’s behavior towards him. Well, he didn’t blame him, though. Grant had been through hell the past couple of days and wasn’t anywhere near his best right now. So of course he would miss something like that. But, Coulson was also glad that it seemed as though he had gotten Grant distracted from his current situation.

“Grant, do you not see how caring she is towards you?” Coulson asked, leaning back in his desk chair and crossing his arms. “She’s very worried about you. It went from you worried for her to her being worried about you. Do… Do you not see that at all?”

Grant blinked, “I don’t understand what you’re getting at.” he stated, confusion lacing his voice. “She’s been kind of overbearing lately, if that’s what you mean.”

“Like I said, she’s worried about you, Grant.” Coulson sighed. “She’s just scared that you’re going down a bad path because of everything.”

“I’m not going down a bad path. She just worries too much. She needs to get back to training instead. Or she won’t be able to become an agent.”

“Ah, there’s pot calling the kettle black.”

Grant’s face fell and he straightened up, “Huh? Coulson, you’re just spouting complete and utter nonsense at this point.”

Coulson rolled his eyes, “Grant, you just said that Skye worries about you too much and here you are worrying about her.” he began to explain. He sat back up and tilted his head, “I know that this is a silly question that I already know the answer to, but do you like Skye, Grant?”

The blush returned on Grant’s cheeks, but violently this time around. “Huh?! I-I don’t understand.” he stammered, momentarily forgetting to why he was originally in here. “W-What are you talking about?”

The smile on Coulson’s face grew even more and it humored him to see Grant acting like a teenager. Something he probably never got to really be. “Do you like Skye?” he repeated. “Yes or no.”

“I don’t see what this has to do with anything. Agents aren’t supposed to have relationships with one another, so why would I even like her?” He shook his head vehemently. “Nope. Not at all.”

“You wouldn’t be like this if you didn’t like her, Grant. And besides, I don’t think it would hurt to talk to her.” He leaned back in his chair again, “And besides, I think I can overlook some things.”

“Hah?” Grant’s blush grew even more and he stood to his feet. “I-I don’t think this is the time for something like this! There’s the fact of Odin-”

“This is the perfect time for this, Grant.” Coulson cut in, standing to his feet as well. “A perfect thing to take your mind off of things for a while.” He walked around his desk and came to stand in front of Grant, “Just go talk to her. You know that she doesn’t bite. Just give her five minutes.”

“I-I-”

“Grant, if you don’t do it, I’ll ask her myself.”

Grant just grew even more flustered, “You wouldn’t!” he shot back. “You don’t need to get all up in my business like this! It’s embarrassing!”

Coulson just smiled and reached out, placing a gentle hand on Grant’s shoulder, “Just go talk to her. Get your mind off of things. You really need it.

It’s not going to do you any harm to do so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I think I'm sure of the direction of where I'm taking this, but I am still open to ideas if you have any. I'm glad to hear them! Keep the comments and kudos coming!

**Author's Note:**

> Just an AU me and another friend on Tumblr made up! Find me on Tumblr @ gears-of-ward!


End file.
